No Love In an Elevator

Bobbi:  Every time I'm at the mall or the airport or frankly anywhere I ride the elevator this scenario NEVER fails.  Once the doors open and I'm ready to exit the elevator, there is ALWAYS at least one impatient folk on the other side waiting to bulldoze me over to get in.  Where is the elevator etiquette?  Do people truly think that no one will be there when the magical doors open?

Margaret:  That's because they can't wait to get on that elevator with all your 70-year-old HOTNESS!  But seriously, just take the stairs like I do... that's how I keep up my 70-year-old HOTNESS!

Bobbi:  Seriously?  That's your answer to this question?  Okay then, lets talk about the stairs or even the escalator for that matter.  That is a whole other issue.  There are always the young ones who get impatient and suddenly the feeling of hot humid air is felt as they're breathing down your back while sighing as they have no understanding that in our heads we are moving as fast as they are.  And then there are the ones who PASS you.  Humiliating.  Lets be honest, you stopped traveling by elevator since your gas issue has lost control.  In fact, I remember the last time you were on an elevator.  You couldn't hold it in, therefore everyone was trapped with the permeating smell while you tried to blame it on the young child with a diaper.  No, I don't think toddlers eat bologna sandwiches with tuna spread.

Margaret:  You just wish you could still eat bologna and tuna spread!  Ok, so back to the elevator issue (and I'm not just trying to divert attention).

This is an issue that goes far beyond the elevator!  I feel it in line at the bank, in the left-hand turn lane, the cafeteria lunch line (there are just so many choices), JC Penny dressing rooms, and the list goes on and on.  I know we live in a world full of "faster".  Faster internet, faster food, faster cars, faster children... But "faster" does not always = "happier"!  Sometimes it just equals "selfishier" and "lack-of-self-controllier"!  So what are we going to do to help save the world, Bobbi?

Bobbi:  We hire Disneyland employees.  They stand at the elevator doors, count how many are in your party, and tell you when you can board while the others exit.  Disneyland not only has it down right, but has also established in doing so that they have created 'the happiest place on earth.'

SAVED.

Margaret:  Ok!  But they have to be cute.  Can we require that??

Bobbi:  Disneyland is an equal opportunity employer, so I suppose we should be too for the happy factor.  I guess even ugly people deserve to be happy.